Can my recipient/donor in an open donation “ghost” me?

June 29, 2023

Embryo donation relationships are built on mutual trust. Establishing a foundation for interaction expectations at the outset will help to ensure that no one is disappointed or overwhelmed.  Families can agree at the outset how often they wish to engage, if at all, until the offspring decide that they want to know one another.  The legal agreement has a place for those hopes and expectations, but that portion of the legal agreement is considered more a memorandum of understanding.

As with all relationships, they build, ebb, and flow over one’s lifetime. A recipient might not communicate very much at all pre-birth, then you might find a burst of conversation at the excitement of a new baby.  Then busy parenting lives take over – donors and recipients may communicate less, and re-engage at milestones or as the children express interest in knowing one another.

No relationship is the same, and the most important guidance is to balance engagement with freedom for space when needed. When you’re not connecting well with your recipient or donor, consider what might be happening in their lives, and try again at a later date.  If you worked with an agency, you may also consider leveraging agency personnel to explore the issue on your behalf.